


resonance

by Anemoi



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Implied/Ambiguous Self Harm, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-12
Updated: 2015-06-12
Packaged: 2018-04-04 03:38:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4124301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anemoi/pseuds/Anemoi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>for the tumblr prompt "angsty morisco + the Hills by the Weeknd"</p>
            </blockquote>





	resonance

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: warning- this is like, if morisco and that weeknd song had an unholy baby, and (if you've read my other morisco fics), definitely not that isco and alvaro.

 

 

_When I’m fucked up, that’s the real me  
When I’m fucked up, that’s the real me, babe_

  
  


The first time they fucked they were both drunk out of their minds but Isco had been laughing, had wound both hands in Alvaro’s hair and said everything Alvaro had dreamt of hearing from him, and Alvaro had tried to slow the stutter in his hips and not come too fast.

Then Isco ignores his calls and texts for three months after.

-

 

“This is Isco, leave a message. Down Messi- Oh come on- [barking]- Anyway um, leave a message and I’ll call you back.”

“Isco, it’s Alvaro. Want to get dinner? Thursday at that restaurant you like, I can’t remember the name. Call me back, yeah?”

 

-

 

“This is Isco, leave a message. Down Messi- Oh come on- [barking]- Anyway um, leave a message and I’ll call you back.”

“Isco, it’s Alvaro. Why aren’t you answering my texts? I think we should, I, I don’t know, maybe talk? Call me back. Please.”

 

-

 

“This is Isco, leave a message. Down Messi- Oh come on- [barking]- Anyway um, leave a message and I’ll call you back.”

“Isco. Just fucking- call me back.”

 

-

 

“This is Isco-”

 

-

 

 The next time they fuck- that’s what Isco always called it, as in, “Alvaro, who’re you fucking?” and Alvaro says, “You. And Maria.” and he asks Isco even though he knew the answer, like a nightmare he’d been trying to forget but still recalls in pristine detail, “What about you?” and Isco looks at him and the corners of his mouth turn up but he isn’t smiling, “What do you think, Alvaro?” and Alvaro tries to ignore the other numbers in Isco’s phone- it’s when Victoria’s away with Isco junior at her parent’s house.

  Isco calls at 5 in the morning. Alvaro’s struggling to rub the sleep from his eyes and Isco’s saying in to his ear, “Alvaro- Come over.”

  His breathing’s too fast like he already has a hand on himself and Alvaro feels wide awake suddenly, too awake, his hand clenching the phone hard to his ear.

  “Isco- Isco what the fuck.”

  “Come over. Victoria isn’t home. I miss you.”

  Alvaro’s eyes slide shut. 3 months and he has every detail of Isco’s voice mail memorized and it’s not fucking fair, it’s not, but Isco says  _I miss you_  like he means it and-

  “I’m coming.”

  “Good. I’ll try not to come before you get here.” Isco says, teasing tone surreal and Alvaro laughs. He doesn’t think the hysteria shows through, or maybe Isco’s just good at ignoring that too.

 

-

 

 The next time they fuck Alvaro’s learned enough to know that it was just sex. He scrolls through Isco’s instagram sometimes and looks at pictures of him with his son. Pictures of Isco with Victoria.

  “Isco.” He says to Isco’s back once, afterwards. Isco’s pulling on his shirt and it’s 7 in the morning and they both have practice in an hour. “I broke up with Maria.”

   Isco doesn’t pause. “Oh?” He says, and then he’s pulling on his jeans and walking out of the door.

   Alvaro stares at the ceiling until his eyes ache.

 

-

 

They stop fucking around when Alvaro goes to Juve. It’s a lot easier to not think about Isco when Isco’s hundreds of miles away. He calls up Maria again and by some miracle she still loves him and it’s all the same but comforting anyway, Maria’s clothes mixed in with his own in the washing machine, someone to cook dinner with on saturday nights, someone who’ll still be there in the morning. Someone not Isco, but Alvaro thinks he can manage that.

 

-

 

Real loses to Juve. Alvaro has a new message and it’s just Isco drunk swearing at him interspersed with silence and finally, “Alvaro. Why don’t we talk anymore?”

 Alvaro listens to the electronic female voice tell him he has no more new messages to display. He deletes the voicemail and breaks a glass later while pouring a drink, his hands shaking too hard to keep it from slipping out of his grasp.

 

-

 

Real loses to Juve. Alvaro has a new message at 4 in the morning when he’s about to crash in to bed after Juve’s celebration. Fernando had made eyes at him all night across the drinks table, leaving little touches on Alvaro’s knee, his lower back. Alvaro thinks, briefly, about going to Fernando Llorente’s room. He thinks about deleting the voice message.

 He plays it, and this time there’s just silence, Alvaro about to delete it with disappointment bitter in the back of his throat when he hears, finally, Isco saying- “I miss you.”

  _(And that’s all there is to it, isn’t it?)_

 Alvaro gets out of bed even though he feels sick to his bones.

 

-

 

Isco’s quiet when he opens the door, head hanging. He doesn’t look at Alvaro when he slides out of his shirt, but Alvaro stops him because his torso was a- it was a fucking mess.

 “What the fuck is this, Isco?” Alvaro asks, forcing his voice even.

 “Match was rough.” Isco shrugs. He steps forward and stops Alvaro’s protest with his mouth.

 

-

 

Afterwards Alvaro puts a finger on each of Isco’s bruises.

  “How?” He asks, hand on Isco’s knee. Isco’s smiling, lazy and sated, legs sprawled.

  “Tackle in practice. Sergio I think?”

  “Here?” Alvaro shifts his hand to another one, purple fading to green on Isco’s thigh.

  “Chiellini’s studs.” Isco yawns, showing all his teeth.

  “Here?” Faint robin’s egg blue on the inside of Isco’s wrist.

   Isco frowns at it, shrugging. “I don’t remember. Knocked it somewhere.”

   Alvaro spreads his hand on the purple covering Isco’s sides, the ones he first saw when Isco took off his shirt. “Here?”

   Isco doesn’t reply. He looks at Alvaro, not smiling anymore, and says, “I was just careless.”

   Alvaro doesn’t know if Isco did it to himself or if someone else did. It didn’t matter. He told himself it didn’t matter. Isco was just sex- they’ve made that clear. Isco’s looking at him, almost afraid, eyes wide like a child.

   Alvaro presses his fingertips in to Isco’s bruises and leans over to swallow Isco’s moan.

 

-

 

“I love you- I love you- I love-” Isco’s saying, over and over, clutching Alvaro’s shoulders and shaking through his orgasm. Alvaro wants to tell him to stop,  _you don’t even know what that means_ , but he doesn’t.

  It’s dawn and the moment will slip away from them before the sun even rises but Alvaro closes his eyes and swallows back against the nausea, forehead against Isco’s stomach, Isco’s hand carding through his hair, gentle.

 

-

 

_Only you to trust, only you_

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> note about the title- when i say resonance, i think vibrating at the same frequency till something breaks. im an engineer go figure. 
> 
>  
> 
> thank you for reading <3


End file.
